||Shredding your fucking pride.
I don't even understand why I believed any of my exes. Women may be manipulative whores who always attempt to get what they want, besides those who have an obvious control over it.. but... Men are goddamn liars.. all of them have lied to me at some point.
I hate you. I think I have never felt such a burning pain inside my chest in such a long time.. I would blame it on heartburn, but it doesn't feel like this. You're a goddamn liar.. and I can't believe you didn't have the audacity to tell me the truth. I'm hurt more than anything because beyond all else, I did care about you. Sure, I've been in love with Matt for four years, but I cared about you enough to keep you close to me, even going as far to hunt you down in IM before just to speak to you... but.. to have this happen...
*shakes her head.* I'll explain it to you the next time i see you, and then you'll understand. Other than that, remind me to get in contact with your 'girlfriend' or 'fiance', whatever it is.. I need to correct her on a few points about my past, tell her what I lied about, and what was true, and then tell her to forget about me since that'll make things a ton easier. I don't like thinking about the fact that I'm used as an example for the way to 'not use the internet' when I've changed, but y'know what?
More power to ya.
I've changed, and for the most part moved on from what I used to be, but y'know what? Y'come online, you ask to be drawn into someone's fantasy.. the internet is a proverbial penis extension for males and females alike, a way to be something they're not and form into something they wished they could be. And if it doesn't work, they resort to lies.
Yes, I've done it, but you have to understand, I got over it.. I don't lie to people about things anymore, because it's a lot easier for them to believe me when I tell the truth all the other times. If I say something is wrong, then it's wrong. But, that's not the point here.
The point is, I'm so mad I could breathe fire and destroy every car you have ever loved within a wave, considering you were still telling me you loved me last month sometime, yet, you didn't even have the presence of mind to go 'Maybe I should tell her I'm dating/engaged to someone that used to hate her so fully and would want to destroy her if she knew we were talking.'
.. That's all.
For those of you who didn't know me four of five years ago, this would have no meaning to you. The person I 'hate' would, but the lies I told would not.. I got over that rather quickly when I almost lost God as a friend.. he helped me, and I shall forever be indebted to him for showing me that doing things like that will end up murdering my 'self' and destroying the real me. This is me, this is who I am... Either way, sorry for the rant, please continue on with your normal LJ viewing.